Best Advice for Pregnant and New Moms!

It's still crazy to me that I have been a parent for over 18 years. During this time we have also fostered and adopted children of varying ages and medical complexities.

Here is some of the best pregnancy and newborn advice I have learned or heard from other parents during my journey.

Pregnancy:

Take naps...you are literally making an entire human being. Rest as much as you can.
If you feel like something is wrong, keep pushing. Don't let your medical professional dismiss you. Listen to your body. Doesn't matter what time it is, call them. Your concerns are not silly, they are valid.
Make freezer meals before you go into labor. You will get sick of takeout and will not feel like cooking.
Don't try and put yourself into labor with squats, running/walking up stairs, drinking castor oil or any other wives tales. You will end up exhausted. Not a way to start motherhood.
If you have to be induced for medical reasons. Ask for a morning. Staying up all night being induced makes for a rough start.
Let your baby come when they are ready, not you. Unless there are medical complications, the more interventions you do, the more complications you have. Most babies know when it's their time to be born.
Your son and husband will not compare penises....when trying to decide about circumcision do research first. Whatever you decide is the right decision.
If you can't breastfeed due to adoption, medical issues, or any other reason don't let others words affect your decision. Its OK to not breastfeed!
Take a childbirth class. Don't let a midwife or doctor do a procedure without you knowing all the pros/cons. Why do we need to start Pitocin? Do I really need an episiotomy? You don't need to be hooked up to monitors and checked routinely in a healthy birth/pregnancy.
Take a breastfeeding class if you are planning on breastfeeding. Its hard. Both you and baby are learning.
It's ok to hate pregnancy. It doesn't mean you will be a bad mom.

Newborn:

You know your child best! I don't care what the doctor says, how the bloodwork looks, if they don't have "classic symptoms". Listen to your gut!
Knowledge is power! Ask questions, say no before you make a decision without researching it.
It doesn't matter if your friend did it, your parents did it, your families did it....this is your baby and your journey. Only you can decide what is right.
Holding your baby is not spoiling them. When you respond to them every time they cry, you are literally laying the foundation of positive connections for their brain growth and development.
Watch your baby, not the clock. Let you baby eat when they are hungry. Do you carry a coffee cup or water bottle with you? Do you bring snacks and eat when you feel hungry? A baby does not need a feeding schedule (unless there is a medical necessity).
Boundaries are important. Some family members need them. It is YOUR baby. It's ok to raise them differently than others.
Postpartum depression is REAL. Reach out to others. Ask for help. Know you are not alone. Medication works and it doesn't have to be permanent.
The postpartum period is HARD. Like crazy out of body experience hard. But it's worth it.
No matter how long you breastfed....a day...a week....a month...a year....I am proud of you for trying. You are doing amazing!
Give yourself grace. Sit on the couch and enjoy the snuggles. Laundry will literally never go away for the rest of your life.
Don't forget yourself. It's easy to get wrapped up in being a mom. Take time for yourself too.
Mom guilt is real. Know whatever decisions you are making (returning to work, staying home, going out to lunch with friends), you are making the best decisions you can.
STOP comparing yourself to your mom friends, you sister in law, a social media mom. You have NO idea what their life really is like. Just because they say it one way or show a bunch of happy pictures, does not mean that is the way it is.
Every child is different. So even if your first child did something at one age, doesn't mean this one will. They like to throw out fun surprises to keep parenting interesting.
Some babies are really fussy. You are not doing anything wrong.
Try and write down or document as much as you can. Sleep deprivation and memories are a real thing. Sometimes you forget the little things.
More parents co-sleep than you know. I am a medical professional so I can not recommend this. However if you fall asleep with your baby on your chest, feeding at the breast or in your arms....you are not alone. Sometimes it's the only sleep you can get.
Plan date nights with a friend or partner. Try not to only talk about baby poop. Don't cancel.
It's ok to sit down and have a good cry.
Let people you trust help. Let them do the load of laundry, bring you a meal, hold the baby while you nap or shower. Let them love on you, so you can love your baby the best.

There is literally a thousand things I could write on becoming a new parent. These were just some of my favorites, and ones I share often in my childbirth education classes. Don't wish away a stage too quickly, every stage comes with new challenges, new memories, sadness and joy.

Best Advice for Pregnant and New Moms

Best Advice for Pregnant and New Moms!

It's still crazy to me that I have been a parent for over 18 years. During this time we have also fostered and adopted children of varying ages and medical complexities.

Here is some of the best pregnancy and newborn advice I have learned or heard from other parents during my journey.

Pregnancy:

Take naps...you are literally making an entire human being. Rest as much as you can.

If you feel like something is wrong, keep pushing. Don't let your medical professional dismiss you. Listen to your body. Doesn't matter what time it is, call them. Your concerns are not silly, they are valid.

Make freezer meals before you go into labor. You will get sick of takeout and will not feel like cooking.

Don't try and put yourself into labor with squats, running/walking up stairs, drinking castor oil or any other wives tales. You will end up exhausted. Not a way to start motherhood.

If you have to be induced for medical reasons. Ask for a morning. Staying up all night being induced makes for a rough start.

Let your baby come when they are ready, not you. Unless there are medical complications, the more interventions you do, the more complications you have. Most babies know when it's their time to be born.

Your son and husband will not compare penises....when trying to decide about circumcision do research first. Whatever you decide is the right decision.

If you can't breastfeed due to adoption, medical issues, or any other reason don't let others words affect your decision. Its OK to not breastfeed!

Take a childbirth class. Don't let a midwife or doctor do a procedure without you knowing all the pros/cons. Why do we need to start Pitocin? Do I really need an episiotomy? You don't need to be hooked up to monitors and checked routinely in a healthy birth/pregnancy.

Take a breastfeeding class if you are planning on breastfeeding. Its hard. Both you and baby are learning.

It's ok to hate pregnancy. It doesn't mean you will be a bad mom.

Newborn:

You know your child best! I don't care what the doctor says, how the bloodwork looks, if they don't have "classic symptoms". Listen to your gut!

Knowledge is power! Ask questions, say no before you make a decision without researching it.

It doesn't matter if your friend did it, your parents did it, your families did it....this is your baby and your journey. Only you can decide what is right.

Holding your baby is not spoiling them. When you respond to them every time they cry, you are literally laying the foundation of positive connections for their brain growth and development.

Watch your baby, not the clock. Let you baby eat when they are hungry. Do you carry a coffee cup or water bottle with you? Do you bring snacks and eat when you feel hungry? A baby does not need a feeding schedule (unless there is a medical necessity).

Boundaries are important. Some family members need them. It is YOUR baby. It's ok to raise them differently than others.

Postpartum depression is REAL. Reach out to others. Ask for help. Know you are not alone. Medication works and it doesn't have to be permanent.

The postpartum period is HARD. Like crazy out of body experience hard. But it's worth it.

No matter how long you breastfed....a day...a week....a month...a year....I am proud of you for trying. You are doing amazing!

Give yourself grace. Sit on the couch and enjoy the snuggles. Laundry will literally never go away for the rest of your life.

Don't forget yourself. It's easy to get wrapped up in being a mom. Take time for yourself too.

Mom guilt is real. Know whatever decisions you are making (returning to work, staying home, going out to lunch with friends), you are making the best decisions you can.

STOP comparing yourself to your mom friends, you sister in law, a social media mom. You have NO idea what their life really is like. Just because they say it one way or show a bunch of happy pictures, does not mean that is the way it is.

Every child is different. So even if your first child did something at one age, doesn't mean this one will. They like to throw out fun surprises to keep parenting interesting.

Some babies are really fussy. You are not doing anything wrong.

Try and write down or document as much as you can. Sleep deprivation and memories are a real thing. Sometimes you forget the little things.

More parents co-sleep than you know. I am a medical professional so I can not recommend this. However if you fall asleep with your baby on your chest, feeding at the breast or in your arms....you are not alone. Sometimes it's the only sleep you can get.

Plan date nights with a friend or partner. Try not to only talk about baby poop. Don't cancel.

It's ok to sit down and have a good cry.

Let people you trust help. Let them do the load of laundry, bring you a meal, hold the baby while you nap or shower. Let them love on you, so you can love your baby the best.

There is literally a thousand things I could write on becoming a new parent. These were just some of my favorites, and ones I share often in my childbirth education classes. Don't wish away a stage too quickly, every stage comes with new challenges, new memories, sadness and joy.

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